The relationships that we have with our family, friends, romantic partners, teachers and workmates can have a major impact on our mental health and wellbeing. If the relationships are positive then they will give us the feeling of respect and being cared for.

Romantic Relationships

It can be hard to appreciate the level of impact a relationship can have on a teens life. Even though they can be short-lived and possibly unstable, their romantic relationships are often dismissed as ‘puppy love’ and adults tend to make it come across as unimportant or failed to be taken seriously. 

It’s becoming increasingly clear that when a teen is in a romantic relationship they warrant so much more attention than they have traditionally given. These relationships play an important role in their day-to-day lives, and they have a significant impact on their mental health, ongoing development and future romantic relationships.

Why it’s important to think about the impact relationships can have on your teenager.

Romantic relationships are a hot topic of conversation, this is a significant source of preoccupation and deep thought. This is a major contributing factor to the strong emotions in teens. 

Teens say that romantic relationships and experiences, whether they are real, potential or fantasized, are the reason behind their strong emotions both positive and negative. These negative thoughts and emotions that are associated with relationships can’t be avoided by not getting into a relationship. 

Teenagers, mainly teen girls spend a lot of time either thinking or talking about romantic relationships. That can be the focus of past relationships or possible future relationships, even when they are single. Teens who are not in a romantic relationship say that it is stressful if you don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. As well as having an impact on their day-to-day lives, relationships also have a major effect on their emotional and social development. These will lay the foundations for all romantic relationships in adulthood. 

Even though the relationships you have during your teen years tend to be shorter in duration than adult relationships, and don’t have the same level of intimacy, attachment and commitment, they still play a very crucial role in your teen years. 

The impact of a romantic relationship 

You can’t generalize a romantic relationship as being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ for adolescent development. There are both benefits and risks when it comes to romantic involvement in teens and they tend to co-exist. The positive benefits are enhanced self-esteem, popularity and social status, independence, increased feelings of self-worth and protection against feelings of social anxiety. 

Negative effects can include substance use (in severe cases), academic difficulties, stress, sexual health risks that can lead to unplanned pregnancy, risk of experiencing ‘dating violence’ or ‘partner violence’ and an increased vulnerability to experience depressive symptoms - this is very apparent for girls following a break-up. 

How to support your teen through a breakup

Here are some things to consider:

• Avoid assumptions about the significance of the relationship or the impact the breakup they experienced
• Don’t dismiss the distress from the breakup, teens may be at risk of developing a depressive episode following a break-up
• Don’t assume how important the relationship was/is based on how old they are or how long they were in the relationship for
• Be sensitive to the ways in which a relationship can affect an existing friendship and/or family relationships 
• Don’t assume they will ‘get over it in their own time’ they can be feeling embarrassed or ashamed about asking for help for a problem they feel they should be able to deal with on their own. If your reaction reinforces this it can be very damaging. 
• Discuss acceptable and unacceptable ways of coping with difficult emotions (e.g., cyber-bullying, stalking behavior)

In conclusion, you just have to be there for your teen when they are going through a break-up,  they don’t know how to regulate their emotions and it is so crucial to guide them through this. You show them the right way to heal, this will help them later in life when they are an adult going through a break up.